Only time will tell.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

I'm sitting at my table trying to think of what to say, I told myself I wouldn't cry when Chrysta left. Well, she isn't gone just yet. Not for a few days. She just left my house. We had a small going away party for her and had a few friends over and had a really good time. 
What defines a best friend? To me, it isn't someone you grow up knowing your entire life. It's someone you're comfortable with. Someone you trust. I don't use the term best friend very often. I don't trust a lot of people. 
Chrysta and I became friends when I was about 16 (that's 5 years ago) I was going through a lot. I didn't have anyone to go to. Little did I know, she was going through something similar in a sense. We related, we trusted each other, we became comfortable with each other. There aren't a lot of people that I honestly stick around for more than a few months. I'm a few beers/shots in, and I tried so hard not to cry when hugging her goodbye but I couldn't help it so I'm insanely emotional right now. 
No matter how many times we would fight and make up, we always knew we would end up "together again". It's almost like a spouse, you're just meant to be with someone. And my someone/best friend, is Chrysta. We could go two years without talking and miss out on the most important parts of each other's lives, and we could apologize and make up as if nothing ever happened. At this point, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm being such a crybaby. Chrysta is moving. Not just to another town, she's moving across the country. When she first told me the plans, I was like okay cool, we'll still have a few months to hang-it didn't happen that way. Somehow those "months" turned into weeks. It still hasn't fully hit me. I know she's still there when I need her, but she's just not there, I can't call her up when I have a day off and tell her to bring her baby girl over to play. I can't ask her if she's seen a new building here in Tyler, or tried a new restaurant that we got. My best friend is moving 7894934789 miles away. I'm happy for her, hell, If I could get out of East Texas, I would. But I'm sad, I can't imagine us apart. She has a twin, and I'm sure she's taking it way harder than I am, but wow, I honestly just don't want to go through this. I'm typing this with my eyes covered in tears I won't let fall. I feel selfish, I want her to stay so bad. And I didn't admit it for a while, I encouraged her to go. I want her to experience new things. I just wish she didn't have to permanently leave. 

Thank you, Chrysta. For being there when I had absolutely no one. For being the only person willing to listen to me cry. For being there all these years, after all of our fights. Who knew that our bond would be this strong just from meeting off of myspace hahah. I'm happy for you, and everything you're going to experience. I know we aren't sisters, and sometimes we go days without talking. But I want you to know that I love you, and I always will. If you ever need a place to stay in Tyler our doors are always open. I can't wait to see you when you visit. Please don't replace me. I'm going to miss you more than you'll ever know. I know I said I wouldn't cry, but you suck for doing this. >:/

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