I'm still learning..

I'm going through a growth spurt. Emotionally and mentally. I'm really trying to figure out who I want to be. How I want my husband to see me. How I want my daughter to see me. And unfortunately, how I want my friends to see me. I'm tired of being so hateful. I'm tired of being so judgmental. Some days I just want to go through my phone and apologize to everyone I know. Then I think to myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I'm not meant to keep those people in my life. Who knows.
I'm tired of worrying about other people that don't stick around. I only have time for my family. That doesn't mean just block out every friend I have cos I worry that they won't stick around. That just means I can't worry about seeing my friends every second they want to hang out. I have a family now. My very own family to take care of. I only get one. So I need to take care of them to the best of my abilities. That means my undivided attention. I get so annoyed with myself when I catch myself on the phone while my husband is talking. Checking instagram while my daughter is learning to crawl. I need to set the phone down and just enjoy life. I have a beautiful and healthy baby girl. I have an amazing husband that would do anything in the world for us. It's time to just take a deep breath and enjoy whats in front of me.